Worth Something
by Kochou570
Summary: one-shot: Megumi contemplates her worth in this world, Sanosuke helps her realize that its more than she thinks. SM Very WAFFY, this is my firs fic so PLEASE R&R! maybe a little OOCness,the rating is just to be safe.


Worth Something By Kochou  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these Characters. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Megumi walked slowly through the grass. It was a beautiful, golden day. The world practically screamed "I'm beautiful! See Me! Enjoy me! Megumi sighed, her eyes downcast, refusing to listen to the invitation, or just not realizing that it was there. She had been feeling sad. Sad, and a blue melancholy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Depressed. She always felt like this when. she lost someone. The child had come into the clinic in bad shape, he had already lost a lot of blood. Too much blood. 'I should have been able to do something' But she had been unable to save the child. Who in their right mind let kids play in a. She shook her head, not wanting to think about it. Not only had she lost the child, she had had to break the news to the parents.. A tear slid unnoticed down her cheek and she shut her eyes.  
  
Megumi opened her eyes and sighed again, a deep sigh that racked her whole being as she continued along her path. She wasn't acting like her normal self.  
  
What's wrong with me?  
  
'You should have been able to save him'  
  
'There was nothing I could do!'  
  
'You weren't fast enough'  
  
'It was amazing that he was still alive when he got to me! It doesn't matter how fast I was! There was nothing I could do!'  
  
'Right, because you're not good enough.'  
  
She shut her eyes and shook her head, trying to clear her mind. 'I'm so stupid sometimes' Megumi frowned and turned her path toward the river. The river always calmed her down. She would never tell anyone, but the way it continued on, knowing where it was going and not letting anything get in its way, the way it didn't have a care in the world. It just. helped her think and helped her relax. She found a large boulder and sat upon it, pulling her knees beneath her chin and staring into the running water.  
  
'You're not good enough. You never will be. You're useless. Useless.'  
  
"What am I thinking??" she asked aloud  
  
"I don't know, but I would like to" came a familiar voice from behind her. She stiffened and sat up straight. "What are you doing here?" She asked coldly. Sano slid next to her on the rock. "Don't I have the right to go on a walk?" he faked an offended tone. "Hm. You didn't have to follow me." She said "Well, maybe I wanted to see what has Megitsune so depressed that she is sitting here like a dejected puppy." "Well, maybe you shouldn't have tried to find out." She said haughtily. "As if I'd tell you anything!" She laughed, but a bitter note crept in. Sano smiled dryly, and instead of leaving like she had hoped, he sat upon the rock and looked at her. "Well, I guess I'll just have to wait until you feel like telling me." With that he laid back on the rock, shut his eyes, and stretched out under the warmth of the sun. "and don't you even think of leaving or I'll tie you to a tree and leave you there until a nice person wants to have pity on you" Megumi growled but sat back on the rock. He had that tone in his voice that promised to do exactly as he said.  
  
"What right do you have to hold me here against my will?" she said angrily. "See If I bandage your hands again next time you get in a fight!" Her only response was a smug smile. She glared at him, and when he failed to notice, she glared into the river, plotting revenge. She wanted to hit him so badly. She balled her hands into fists and looked back at him to see if he was still there, He looked so peaceful just lying there, maybe even.trustworthy. His hair shifted in a slight breeze, he looked so.good looking. Megumi winced and shut her eyes 'Baka! What are you thinking? This is the guy who is so aggravating! You can't stand him!' But she looked at him again. His breathing evened out. 'HA! So you cant even keep watch for that long!' She started to slide off the rock. A strong hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. "Are you ready to talk now?"  
  
His eyes were still closed.  
  
Megumi sighed.  
  
'I think I can trust him.'  
  
' No, I know that I can trust him. I trust him with my life.'  
  
'Do I trust myself? What If I say the wrong thin?'  
  
'The wrong thing???'  
  
' Some one died. That's all I have to say.'  
  
'But I never tell anyone what's wrong with me.'  
  
'HA! Nothings wrong with me!'  
  
'Liar.'  
  
'Liar.'  
  
'So many things are wrong with me.'  
  
'But I don't have to tell him. '  
  
'All I have to say is that someone died and then he'll let me go. '  
  
'Will He?'  
  
'No. I'll make him let me go.'  
  
'He Won't let me.'  
  
'Yes he will. '  
  
'No He- What am I doing? Arguing with myself?? Ahou.'  
  
'All I have to say if he asks me to elaborate is that it's none of his business and then I can leave. I should be getting back soon anyway.'  
  
After spending several minutes arguing with herself she glanced at the giant idiot next to her, somewhat surprised that the question still hung in the air, waiting to be answered.  
  
Deep breath.  
  
"Someone died." she said resignedly Sano's eyes opened and he sat up slowly.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yes. Can I go now?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because you need to let your feelings out to somebody. It hurts worse if you keep everything to yourself."  
  
'If looks could kill..'  
  
"Elaborate on this someone who died. People die every day, fox."  
  
"It was a little boy."  
  
"..."  
  
"He was playing hide and seek in the rice fields. They were cutting the rice."  
  
Sano grimaced.  
  
"It got his arm and severd him almost in half."  
  
Megumi's face paled and her voice had took on a steely sound.  
  
"I couldn't save him." She whispered  
  
She took a breath and stared hard at the river. She wasn't going to cry. She never cried. She brushed away a drop of water on her cheek and squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that Sano wasn't looking  
  
"I don't think anyone could have saved him, Megitsune." Sano said gently.  
  
"I know, but I feel like I should have been able to save him. Every time I am unable to help some one I feel like I need to do twice as much to repent from making the opium, I'll never be able to save more people than I harmed. Never!  
I did more harm than good. I'm not worth enough to breathe the air, to take up space. I'm not needed or wanted by anyone. I- never mind. Now you know what's wrong."  
  
Megumi stopped. She hadn't meant to get carried away like that. She half expected for Sano to tell her she was being stupid, and half didn't know what to expect. She definitely did not expect him to drape his arm around her shoulders, giving her a sort of half-hug.  
  
"What was that for?"  
  
"It was for you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Don't he stupid, Fox. Because you need it.  
  
Sanosuke paused.  
  
"When captain Sagara died, I felt like it was my fault. I was there, and I saw the man come up behind him. I yelled to warn him, but it was to late. I blamed myself. After that battle, I refused to help the remaining Sekihotai (sp??). There was another mission after that, but I wouldn't go because I was convinced that I would do more harm than good. They failed the mission. Only three men were left. They had needed someone to go get more men, but hadn't been able to spare anyone. If I had gone, I might have been able to save them. It took me a long time to get through the guilt."  
  
Sano Stared into the distance, remebering  
  
"It doesn't matter if you think you will do more harm than good, what matters is that you help as long as you can help. If you do your best to do all the good that you can, then you are worth enough to be on this earth."  
  
It was quiet. Megumi reflected on what he said, and became aware that his arm was still around he shoulders.  
  
"And, Fox?"  
  
She turned to look at him, and was surprised how close his face was to hers. His soft brown eyes bore into her own deep chocolate ones.  
  
"Yes?" she said, softly.  
  
"You are needed and wanted."  
  
She could feel his breath on her face, time seemed to stop and they were the only ones that existed. Closer, their noses brushed. She could feel the warmth of his lean body pressed into hers, smell his strangely comforting scent of grass, sweat and sake. His arm tightened around her shoulders and her pulse quickened.  
  
"WHAP!"  
  
A big red ball slammed right into Sano's head, breaking their reverie. "Kuso!" Sano winced. "Kami-sama! Gomen! Gomen!" A little girl rushed out of the bushes as Sano bent to retrieve the ball. "Gomen!" The little girl apologized again. "My brother got a little excited and threw the ball to far! Are you ok?" She questioned worriedly. "I'm all right," Sano smiled and rubbed his head "Just tell your brother to be more careful next time, ne?" He handed her the ball.  
  
"Hai!" She smiled "Arigatou!" She ran back through the bushes and they could hear her excitedly telling her playmates that she got the ball and that her brother needed to be more careful. Sano laughed and Megumi smiled.  
  
"I'd better get back to the clinic, its getting late." She said, noticing the sinking sun.  
  
"You're right." Sano agreed, his eyes questioning.  
  
"I still feel guilty," Megumi answered the silent question "but I feel better. Its going to take some time." She half-smiled.  
  
Sano nodded. Megumi slid off the rock and Sano followed suit. When they were both standing, Megumi stood on her tip-toes and gave Sano a quick peck on the cheek.  
  
"Arigatou tori-atama."  
  
She left him standing speechless, and set off down the path to the clinic. Sano stared after her retreating back until she turned a corner and was lost from sight. Then he slowly lifted his calloused hand to touch the spot, still tingling, where her lips had brushed his skin.  
  
"Anytime, Megitsune. Anytime."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Megumi cursed her self silently as she walked down the path, though it was because she actually kissed that Rooster-head or because she hadn't aimed for his lips, she couldn't tell. 'I can't believe he made me waste so much of my time with him!' She thought.  
  
'But I enjoyed it'  
  
'Well.'  
  
Megumi raised her hands to her lips, they still tingled from brushing his slightly stubbled cheek.  
  
'Yeah, I did.'  
  
A/N: So what do you think? I know I kinda messed up the whole thing about Sagara and stuff, but I needed for Sano to have something to say. I had serious writers block with this story. It was just an idea that I had one day and I really wanted to get it down. Please, please, please R&R! this is my first fic and I want to make it better. So you can flame me if you want.but if you are going to flame, maybe you could tell me why it's so awful so I can fix it, ne? THANK YOU! ^_^ 


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